This is a question almost every person asks them self at least once in their life. It's not a decision to be taken lightly as there is another life involved, and you can't get bored and change your mind halfway through raising it.
Now I believe in having a traditional family, with the parents married because I've seen one too many couples that weren't married, change their minds mid-pregnancy and split. Unless you two plan on never marrying, what's the rush to have a baby now? You can't wait 6 months or a year to get married first and tell your child you planned for their arrival? However, I can't tell you how to live your life and you know what is best for you. Just make sure that you and your partner are both in agreement that you want to have a child, before you have a child. Don't go forward with your plan in hopes that your partner will come around to wanting a child eventually.
Money, Honey
This is the first point you should look over when thinking about a child. Yes, love finds a way, but we all know parents want the best for their children and children aren't cheap. There are plenty of websites to help you calculate how much your little bundle of joy is going to cost. Keep in mind things like baby furniture, food/diapers, time off work for maternity leave, time off work for illnesses, childcare and raise in insurance prices. Not only that but you must also consider co-pays at the doctor. If you have a child with some weird allergy or gets sick a lot, you have to keep in mind that every time you go to the doctor there will be co-pays for specialist, prescriptions, regular visits, ect. It can add up very quickly and it's one thing a lot of young parents don't think about before they have a child.
Work
This goes along with money but it's important enough to consider by itself. Are you at a point in your career when you can take time off of work for maternity leave? You also need to consider that you will have to take a sick day every time your child gets ill because day cares and schools won't take sick children and they will need to go to the doctor. Something a lot of moms don't consider is are you available to go on a bed rest? You may think it doesn't happen anymore, but in actuality a lot of pregnant women end up on bed rest for a part of pregnancy. Are you able to either work from home or step back from work to have a baby?
Bucket List
Have you gotten far enough on your bucket list? Having a young baby at home means that it will be awhile before you can risk your life jumping out of a plane or go backpacking through Europe. Have fun, take some vacations and cross off some things on your bucket list before you have a child. Make sure you don't regret missing out on life because you had a baby. Most importantly sleep in! Enjoy it while you can because once you have a baby it will be a good 5 years or so before you are able to sleep through the entire night and possibly sleep in on the weekends.
Test Drive
If you think you are ready to give up all of these great things for a little bundle of joy it's time to take a baby for a test drive. Find a friend, or a sibling that is willing to give up their child for a day or weekend. Really commit and pretend that it is your baby. Constant crying, diaper changing and spit up might make you frustrated. If you get really frustrated or exhausted in the one weekend, remember that it's going to be like that every day all day if you have a child.
I hope this article doesn't make you panic over having a baby. Trust me, it's very rewarding and enjoyable and you can overlook all of the bad for those few moments of good. The baby just isn't a fix if you are looking for something in your life. Don't think a baby is going to love you and give you something you're missing, a baby is selfish. You give everything to that child and only get a teeny bit of that love back. So worth it, but a baby is not a fix for any other problem you are having in another area of your life. Do not have a baby to get your husband to stick around, to have someone to love you, to be your friend or because all of your friends are having them and you can't stand going to one more baby shower and hearing them ask when you are going to have a baby. A baby is a complete lifestyle change but it is very rewarding.
Now I believe in having a traditional family, with the parents married because I've seen one too many couples that weren't married, change their minds mid-pregnancy and split. Unless you two plan on never marrying, what's the rush to have a baby now? You can't wait 6 months or a year to get married first and tell your child you planned for their arrival? However, I can't tell you how to live your life and you know what is best for you. Just make sure that you and your partner are both in agreement that you want to have a child, before you have a child. Don't go forward with your plan in hopes that your partner will come around to wanting a child eventually.
Money, Honey
This is the first point you should look over when thinking about a child. Yes, love finds a way, but we all know parents want the best for their children and children aren't cheap. There are plenty of websites to help you calculate how much your little bundle of joy is going to cost. Keep in mind things like baby furniture, food/diapers, time off work for maternity leave, time off work for illnesses, childcare and raise in insurance prices. Not only that but you must also consider co-pays at the doctor. If you have a child with some weird allergy or gets sick a lot, you have to keep in mind that every time you go to the doctor there will be co-pays for specialist, prescriptions, regular visits, ect. It can add up very quickly and it's one thing a lot of young parents don't think about before they have a child.
Work
This goes along with money but it's important enough to consider by itself. Are you at a point in your career when you can take time off of work for maternity leave? You also need to consider that you will have to take a sick day every time your child gets ill because day cares and schools won't take sick children and they will need to go to the doctor. Something a lot of moms don't consider is are you available to go on a bed rest? You may think it doesn't happen anymore, but in actuality a lot of pregnant women end up on bed rest for a part of pregnancy. Are you able to either work from home or step back from work to have a baby?
Bucket List
Have you gotten far enough on your bucket list? Having a young baby at home means that it will be awhile before you can risk your life jumping out of a plane or go backpacking through Europe. Have fun, take some vacations and cross off some things on your bucket list before you have a child. Make sure you don't regret missing out on life because you had a baby. Most importantly sleep in! Enjoy it while you can because once you have a baby it will be a good 5 years or so before you are able to sleep through the entire night and possibly sleep in on the weekends.
Test Drive
If you think you are ready to give up all of these great things for a little bundle of joy it's time to take a baby for a test drive. Find a friend, or a sibling that is willing to give up their child for a day or weekend. Really commit and pretend that it is your baby. Constant crying, diaper changing and spit up might make you frustrated. If you get really frustrated or exhausted in the one weekend, remember that it's going to be like that every day all day if you have a child.
I hope this article doesn't make you panic over having a baby. Trust me, it's very rewarding and enjoyable and you can overlook all of the bad for those few moments of good. The baby just isn't a fix if you are looking for something in your life. Don't think a baby is going to love you and give you something you're missing, a baby is selfish. You give everything to that child and only get a teeny bit of that love back. So worth it, but a baby is not a fix for any other problem you are having in another area of your life. Do not have a baby to get your husband to stick around, to have someone to love you, to be your friend or because all of your friends are having them and you can't stand going to one more baby shower and hearing them ask when you are going to have a baby. A baby is a complete lifestyle change but it is very rewarding.
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